Giants and Grasshoppers

Numbers 13:17-33  At the end of forty days they returned from exploring the land. They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. They gave Moses this account: “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan.” Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.” But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”

Moses had sent out 12 spies to scout out the land of milk and honey that the Lord was sending them too.   He asked them to see if the people were strong or weak, few or many; whether the cities were fortified or not, whether the soil was poor or good.  These 12 spent 40 days taking in all these things and gathering the fruit of the land.  Fear began to rise in the hearts of 10 of them as they watched the people of the land.  Suddenly they felt like grasshoppers under the foot of the mighty giants of the land. 

Fear is a force that can take over and make all problems and situations bigger than they really are.  Fear can come over us whether the impending doom is real or imagined.  For the Israelites the entrance into the land flowing with milk and honey was barred by people stronger and more powerful than they, or so they thought.  Their fear became so big that they forgot the mighty power of their own God who led them through the desert and provided for all their needs.  They forgot the parting of the Red Sea and the swallowing up of Pharoah’s armies.  They forgot the manna and the quail.  Had their God all of a sudden become small and weak?  No!  Their fear had become large and they forgot the power of their God. 

Many of us have a special “gift” when it comes to flying to fear.  We quickly leap into it at the smallest hint of trouble.   We began to jump to conclusions and play out the worst case scenario in a matter of seconds.  Our brains work rapidly as the path to defeat, destruction and death is playing out before us.  All of a sudden we begin to feel like grasshoppers and see only the giants that oppose us.   We are not alone in this.  Jesus frequently had to speak to His disciples and followers…”Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid”; “Do not be afraid any longer, just believe”; “Why are you so afraid, do you still have no faith?”; “Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

When fear or uncertainty faces us, our faith can waiver and we may see only what is troubling us.   We will dwell in that land of fear and invincible giants.  Our first step must be to remember our Father and remember the compassionate words of Jesus to His own. Understand that the problem you face is not bigger than your God.  Surrender it to Him and keep walking in faith.  The journey is just one step at a time.  

Take courage, the giants are no match for your heavenly Father.

Scott for Wellspring © Copyright 2007

The Tyranny of Want

I bought some shoes a couple of months ago.  They are some nice Timberland leather shoes that have a very cool tie cord.  They were on sale at an outlet store for $40.  That was over half off the regular price.  I love how they look and feel.  I have been wearing them almost everyday since I got them.

A couple of weeks ago, I bought some more shoes.  I told myself I needed to have some new shoes for all the running I am planning to do this summer.  I bought some Salamon Trail Running shoes.  It wasn’t difficult to convince myself I wanted them.  When I was at REI (Outdoor gear store) buying my shoes, I saw a bunch of other shoes I liked, and now I’m convinced that when I need (Or maybe just want) another pair of shoes I will be back.  I want them.

And so goes my dilemma:  Something appealing presents itself and my “want” muscle kicks in.  I begin thinking how cool it would be to have ________ (Shoes, books, a vacation home etc.) My heart is fooled into thinking that the object of my desire will satisfy my longing and so I am compelled to pursue it and apprehend it.  I am a hostage to the things I want.  Today it’s shoes, tomorrow something else.

This dilemma isn’t new to me.  I have been caught in this trap my whole life.  The funny thing though is that the objects I pursue never satisfy me.  They just leave me wanting more.

Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like him.  Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way.  Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.  –I Peter 4:1-2, The Message

I was struck again by this dilemma of wanting when I came across this section of scripture a couple of weeks ago.  I am consumed by my wants, and I am no longer free to live for God.  Like a thirsty man drinking salt water, what looks good on the surface ultimately leaves me unquenched and wanting more.

The only real answer for my wants is to continue to commune with God and practice the art of wanting only a deeper connection with Him.  It’s only there that my wants will be truly satisfied.  Everything else will leave me, well, wanting more.

Dave for Wellspring © Copyright 2007

The Journey of a Sheep

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.   Matt. 18:12-13 I had a momentary vision of my journey as a sheep… 

I was a sheep in the Good Shepherd’s flock.  I enjoyed good pasture and fellowship and there was peace under the watch of this Shepherd.  The ravenous wolf who was the enemy of all of us wandering little lambs was no where to be seen.  All was well in this little flock. But as my Shepherd moved the flock along the banks of the quiet waters I fell behind.  It was nothing terribly alarming because I was close enough to see and hear the Shepherd’s voice.  Anxiety, though mild came upon me every once in awhile when I looked up and saw the distance grow gradually greater.  As the journey continued however, I became more comfortable with the distance from my Shepherd.  Head down, I continued to feast and took solace in the bounty of this pasture. 

Then the way became more rocky and unstable and glimpses of the Shepherd were rarer.  I continued to stumble along but thought sure I could make it.  After all I was one of the stronger sheep.  After much travel and some adventure, I found myself in a strange and foreboding place.  No longer was there good pasture but the landscape was filled with rocks and nearby cliffs.  I could no longer hear or see my Shepherd.  What had gone wrong?  I thought I had kept my eyes on Him.  I became almost paralyzed by fear at my situation and the consequences of my carelessness and self-reliance. The day had now grown from dusk to darkness with no trace of stars in the sky.  Except for the flashes of terrifying lightening from the dark clouds there was no light. A hard rain came and drove me.  Where, I do not know?  I found myself near a black and empty precipice that appeared to spill into a bottomless pit.  My despair now was great.  I felt a great fear near the edge but yet, there was a pull that was drawing me closer to that abyss.  Hope was now practically lost.  Yet, there was a desire buried deep within to find the Good Shepherd and the flock again.   

But there was no way home.  I was completely lost.  I was broken and no longer capable of moving on.  I stopped and waited…for Hope to come. Then, in strong arms I suddenly found myself, being carried through the dark storm.  There was something familiar with this strong one who carried me but yet I had trouble taking my eyes off the storm around me.  The way was difficult but as I rested in the arms of the one who carried me, I felt the gradual return of hope coursing through me.   Could this be my Shepherd? 

The path back caused much pain for one who carried me.  I looked down and saw cuts and blood flowing about his feet and legs as he made the way back across the sharp rocks.  And yet his purpose was firm – to get this little lamb home.  I realized at that moment that this was my Good Shepherd. The sounds of wolves were in the night air and if I was not mistaken my Shepherd had sustained wounds from fending them off me.  Again fear arose.  I clung more closely. 

After a length of time I could not measure, the storm began to break up ever so gradually and the sky grew lighter.  It seemed like such a long, dark journey.  How far had I wandered, and how did I get so far from His care?  I began to wonder in amazement that perhaps I was never far from His sight or His care.  His great desire was to come after me and bring me home…even if it meant leaving the rest behind. At last, we came to the edge of the green pastures, surrounded by great and majestic mountains.  The flock was there and there was much joy in my return.  The sun was now just dawning new over the peaks.  I was home.  

Was this my journey?  Yes.   Has this been your journey?  Sometimes this journey is all in a day’s time, sometimes over many years, sometimes within one small hour.  This journey can be subtle or severe.   Is there hope of coming home to the Shepherd? There is Hope, He is Jesus. 

Scott Toillion for Wellspring, © Copyright 2007