“Have you ever thought about being a counselor?”
I can remember those words spoken to me by my mother, like it was yesterday. That was in 1992 when I was in a season of searching and seeking God’s guidance about what my life’s work should be. Almost as soon as she spoke the words, the idea resonated with me. Immediately it seemed to be a good fit. Helping people find their way through the maze of life with all its trials and tribulations, I thought “I would love to be able to do that”. I have always had a heart for people, and God has blessed me with the temperament and wiring to come alongside others in their pain and confusion.
Today, 16 years later, I estimate that I have spent easily 3000-4000 hours in formal or informal counseling with couples or individuals, no two situations exactly alike. Guiding others into a closer connection with Jesus in the midst of their pain and heartache, is an absolute privilege that God has given me. As a result I have learned a few things firsthand about what it takes to be a good spiritual guide for others.
First off, being a good guide for others requires becoming a good follower. I am reminded of the apostle Paul’s words to the Corinthian church “Follow me as I follow Christ”. Following Jesus ourselves is paramount to having anything of worth to guide others into. As a spiritual guide we are conduits between God and others. God chooses to pour his life into others through us, but that can’t happen unless we first have a vibrant relationship with Jesus ourselves.
Secondly, guiding others spiritually requires that we pursue and refine the art of knowing when and how to impart wisdom. Giving helpful wisdom to others is so much more than just knowing a bunch of stuff. It also has to do with knowing the right stuff to say to a particular individual and knowing when to say it. This is much more an art than a science. Much of doing this well, has to do with being an able listener. As I have experienced firsthand, not many people are very good at this. How can I guide others well if I haven’t listened to the state of their heart? How can I guide others well if I am not tuned into what God is doing in the middle of a conversation? The answer of course, is that I can’t. Any counsel I impart without adequate listening will be shortsighted and probably even a bit self-serving. Wisdom has more to do with applying what we know in such a way that our interactions with others speak directly to the heart of the person. Imparting knowledge and/or skills indiscriminantly is not wise at all. This demonstrates a lack of respect for the relationship and an unwillingness to follow God in the process. Wisdom by definition never takes a “one size fits all” approach, which naturally brings us back to the importance of being a skilled listener. There is a place for imparting knowledge to others, but being a good listener enables our guidance to be given at precisely the time they are ready to receive it. In giving wisdom to others, as with many things, timing is everything.
Are you seeking guidance? We all need guidance. We all need others who will walk the journey of life with us. We need others who are following after Jesus that we can look to for encouragement, inspiration, and yes, guidance. As Christians we all have the opportunity to be spiritual guides and/or mentors for others, but we must be diligent in our personal pursuit of Jesus, and learn what it means to be conduits of God’s grace, love, and wisdom into the lives of others.
Are you listening?
Dave for Wellspring © 2008
